She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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