I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
