ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
