Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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