Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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