i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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