I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
