hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize