So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
