My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
