My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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