I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
