Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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