I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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