pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
