..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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