im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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