Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
