Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
