he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There's always time for handjobs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
