Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's allergic to latex.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.