At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
