mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
