If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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