thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
