I heard we made out
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
