i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize