Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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