How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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