well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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