in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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