i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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