Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
