This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
