I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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