They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
