He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
