I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
