.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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