I've blown a few things in my day
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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