around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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