Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
