I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
