Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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