You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
