I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
