i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
