Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
