direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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