what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
