You're my little dorito
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
