Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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