i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
