The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
