I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
