Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
