Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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