Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
