drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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