I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
