I looked at my own cervix.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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