I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
