I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
