Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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