I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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