yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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