After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
should my penis look like a turkey
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
