David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
