Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize