My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
