3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
