There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
