vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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