either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize