in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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