i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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